Its Okay to be an Introvert

                                                              

       Society encourages us to be social. It is built into and engrained into our whole way of function. Socializing does in fact have many psychological and physical -health benefits. Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter have made billions of dollars, capitalizing on our "friendships". However, with all of this pressure and encouragement to socialize with everyone, the billion dollar question might be, "What if we just don't feel the need to?" 

What if having one or two good friends is all that we really need to get by? What if we spend 6 out of 7 nights in the solitude of our own home? What if we are just simply not as comfortable in larger groups, social outings, or prefer to have a night at home with Netflix, rather than a night out in the city bar hopping? Is there anything really wrong with that? Many would label that as "Socially awkward", "Socially inept" or maybe "Anti-social" perhaps. However it is really in fact, all part of being an Introvert.

       Being an introvert is actually quite common, more so than people often admit. While no conclusive study has determined the percentage of Introverts in the United States, some evidence according to Psychology Today, suggests that it could be anywhere from 16%-50%... So what exactly is an introvert? Merriam Webster Dictionary defines Introvert as "The state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life". The opposite of an Introvert would of course be the Extrovert, which is defined as "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with obtaining gratification from what is outside the self". There are also those who identify as "Ambiverts", which is essentially a combination of both introverted/extroverted personality traits. Overall the same evidence from Psychology today suggests that 50-70% of the population might identify more as Extroverts. So there are also likely more extroverts out there, who as might be stereotyped, love to be loud, outspoken, love making new friends and love speaking up for their own social needs & promote their social outlets! Could this be why extroversion is often more promoted, encouraged and even favored more so than Introversion? 

      This perceived "favoritism of extroverts" as we'll call it, often starts back in elementary school. Children are encouraged to socialize, make friends and if they are not doing this as quickly as other children, are labeled as having "something wrong with them" or being "socially awkward or deviant". This can hurt their self-esteem and actually make it more difficult for them to make friends. This "favoritism of extroverts" attitude often follows them throughout middle school & high school when "social groups form" and kids tend to fall into one type of crowd or another. An introvert might struggle more with this and be perceived as a "loner", "weird" or "different" if they don't make that transition as easily as the others or judged by how many friends they have or by their popularity! Social media such as Facebook/Twitter and Instagram further this "favoritism". Kids often compare how many Facebook friends or Twitter followers they have or how many "likes" they get on a comment.  This can put much added pressure onto the adolescent introvert. Many introverts often feel misunderstood by Extroverts and society. They might feel judged by them or feel as though they are being "pressured" to socialize. Extroverts might perceive the introvert as being unfriendly, lonely or depressed or somehow unhappy about their life and feel they are actually "helping them" when they try encouraging them to be more social, when in fact, they might be making things harder. Many surveys have indicated that Introverts are actually quite happy.
 
        Many Introverts are quite satisfied and content to be themselves! They are comfortable with the quieter life and in fact, enjoy it much more that way! Sometimes having less friends allows them to have deeper, more intellectual conversations with the fewer friends they do have. Many enjoy their solitude and the comfort that it brings. Many are friendly, generous, kindhearted people, they just don't see the need to talk to everybody or have different friends for every day of the week. They can still be leaders, public speakers and be quiet comfortable and successful in these roles. President Abe Lincoln and Bill Gates are great examples of this, as it is said they are/were both introverts. The truth is most wouldn't change their introversion if they could.
 
        So next time you see an Introvert, it might be helpful not to judge why they are that way or why they can't be more sociable or outgoing and just accept their uniqueness, their individuality and intellect as just them being who they truly are and want to be, since this is all their best representation of them being their true selves! Self Actualization achieved!